But why do we have these painful culture shocks?

Take a look at the six most common causes for culture shock. Which of the 6 areas has affected you most? How did you overcome them? What was your coping strategy?

As a general rule, the larger the cultural distance – meaning the extent of differences in values and communication styles between the two cultures – the bigger the shock. But it can also hit you, when you expect two cultures to be more similar than they actually are. We experience a cognitive dissonance when our values and beliefs clash with those of the new culture. This understandibly causes psychological stress.

What helps? Coping strategies for culture shock and adaptation difficulties:

• don’t panic, nearly everyone has some form of culture shock – it‘s absolutely normal!
• stay in touch with your support network (family and friends)
• make new contacts to locals and other expats
• get out and explore your new city and country
• get involved, join a club, practice your hobbies
• always expect the unexpected
• talk with other expats and get rid of that exasperation
• cultivate your favorite customs from home (cook favorite dish, etc.)
• do not underestimate the climatic adjustment
• have faith and give yourself time

Remind yourself of all the benefits of your journey:

• deeper insights into the culture, broadened horizon and intercultural competence
• personal development: increased self-esteem, more optimistic attitude, flexibility, more serenity and resilience
• new friends
• travel, experiences and adventures
• linguistic proficiency

As your intercultural trainer and coach, my aim is to raise awareness that culture shock is real and why it happens. I work with my clients to identify the areas that are causing distress and help them develop healthy coping strategies to move through this phase with more ease and grace. Check out this YouTube video where I share my own culture shock and coping strategy around punctuality in Chile.

Here are the 5 essential steps that you need to take to develop your cultural intelligence:

1. Know yourself better

Start with yourself. Become aware of your personal preferences and your cultural imprint. Do you prefer to communicate directly or indirectly? Do you prefer a linear, structured work schedule or a more flexible one? How do you build trust? Through accomplishments or relationships? How much personal space feels natural to you?

The tricky part is that we all have blind spots. Our own culture is so natural to us that we don’t even realize that there can be different ways of thinking and making sense of the world. Become aware of your unconscious biases. The internet is filled with great infografics on the types of unconscious bias that exist.

2. Grow your awareness of others

Learn to change perspectives. Start by growing your knowledge about other cultures, their values and customs. A great way to start and to demystify over-simplified stereotypes is to be open-minded and interact with people from a different culture, gender, age, martial status, social class, profession, etc. Travelling and working abroad will accelerate the process, but only if you escape your cultural bubble.

Shift from only seeing through your own cultural lens to using different lenses and thus taking on a broader worldview. Practise empathy and put yourself in other people’s shoes. Go beyond and also try to grasp how the shoes feel with the other person’s feet. Imagine how you would assess a certain situation if you had grown up the same way and received the same cultural education as the other person. Think about how others may perceive you.

3. Interact mindfully

When you interact with different cultures, you will be facing many awkward situations – I guarantee you that! When you are confronted with such a typcially ambiguous situation, you will most likely experience a cognitive dissonance, a great mental discomfort due to two competing values or beliefs. According to latest neuroscience research, our natural reaction is to fall back into our limbic or even reptilian brain functions. That could range from a highly emotional burst to a primeval fight-flight-freeze response.

The culturally intelligent person takes a moment to pause and observe objectively what’s actually happening. This is the crucial moment where you need to put your familiar reaction patterns and instincts aside and use your prefrontal cortex to make sense of a situation. Ask open questions if you are not sure if you understood the person or situation well. Practise cultural humility, appreciate the other person’s point of view, work on your ambiguity tolerance, don’t jump to any quick conclusions, give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

4. Build bridges

Now put all your insights and skills into practise. Assume responsibility and be proactive, don’t wait for the other side to go first. Be creative and come up with new constructive ways of finding common grounds. Develop your very own stategies for dealing with cultural differences so that you can communicate and work effectively across cultures while respecting both your own and the other person’s values. Even if quite painful in the beginning, you will soon be rewarded with meaningful, inspiring and enriching experiences. These will help you build valuable relationships across the globe and thrive in international contexts.

5. Never stop learning

Cultural intelligence is not acquired over night. Our world is so very big and diverse and we are on a life-long learning journey. In my experience, it is the most valuable learning journey of all. Consider cultural intelligence to be a muscle that can be trained, just like your comfort zone can be stretched. Make sure not to overstrain your muscle. The secret lies in the healthy balance of authenticity and adaptation.

Conclusions

These 5 steps are basically the essence of everything that I have learned about cultural intelligence throughout my life so far. I have gained great insights from brilliant researchers, authors and interculturalists. But most of all, I have learned from my encounters with people who are completely different than me. By talking, being curious, reflecting, wondering, laughing, crying together and never ceasing to be amazed by the great diversity on this planet.

Professional assistance

Intercultural trainers and coaches are here to guide you through your very personal intercultural learning journey. We have the knowledge, experience, tools and exercises to encourage and empower you during every step of your intercultural learning journey. Contact me at wiebke@chameleon-coaching.com for a free 30 minute telephone consultation and start your journey right away!